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24/05/ We've got you covered with a huge list of funny quotes to make you laugh out loud. Laughter truly is the best medicine for your soul. Not only does laughter reduce stress, it lowers your blood pressure, gives you an excellent ab workout, and releases endorphins. So enjoy these funny quotes, sayings, and observations and get laughing today 19/01/ "I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than that". "It's scary to think that people like you are allowed to vote". "Learn from your parents mistakes, use birth control". "The smartest thing that ever came out your mouth was a penis". 14 26/05/ Funny and Witty Replies to Rude Comments. Cheeky Kid is a cybernaut who spends a lot of time browsing the web, grasping infinite information, and reveling in entertainment and fun. Funny and witty responses to rude comments and mean people. Since the beginning of time, rude people have come to paint the world with meanness and Cheeky Kid

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I feel ten years older already. Before you marry a person, you should at least make them use a computer with a slow internet connection to find out who they really are.

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The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius.

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D. There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

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So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done.

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And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States. Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes.

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After that who cares? Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion.

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses.

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They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.

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Age is just a number. Then quit.

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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When life gives you lemons, quit. When the going gets tough, the tough just quit.

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